Saturday, December 14, 2013

Kill, Refurb, Marry: Thrill Ride Edition!

That time has rolled around again for my favorite monthly installment in the Disney blogosphere...

Let's Kill, Refurb, and Marry some WDW thrill rides!

Okay, in the spirit of full disclosure, I feel obligated to confess that I am not exactly what you might call a "thrill-seeker". In fact, I am precisely the sort of person who would sooner do 20 laps through It's A Small World than set one toe on the Tower of Terror (a feat which I have yet to carry out and pray I never have to). Still, though an adrenaline junkie I am not, Walt Disney World gets a little wiggle room in the thrill ride department... well, enough for me to make this list, anyway! :P

Kill: Test Track

 Never have I ever seen anyone look that happy to be riding Test Track.
The first and only time I ever set foot on the Test Track attraction, I loved it. Now, that reaction is likely the culmination of several factors, like the fact that I was under the euphoric haze of a school trip to Disney World and the fact that I didn't wait an hour and a half for it (single-rider lines are a grossly underutilized resource), but I truly believe that my enjoyment of this attraction boils down to one highly-specific detail: unbeknownst to me at the time, I rode Test Track just days before it was closed for last year's big refurbishment. And guys, I really hate that refurbishment.

While the ride has always essentially been one big advertisement (first, for General Motors; currently, for Chevrolet), the previous incarnation didn't feel like it was; in my memory, it was a ride that took you through the stages of automobile testing in a way that was fun and- dare I say?- educational. The refurbished "Tron Track" (as it has been dubbed by the online Disney fandom) may be full of flashy technology and neon bulbs, but once those things are stripped away, it's all just empty promotion and product-placement. 

Refurb: Space Mountain

Space Mountain is a total classic (I mean, who doesn't love that light tunnel... whatever it's supposed to be!). That said, it's a very old classic, and, while it was refurbished not too long ago in 2009, the ride is only marginally smoother and less ache-inducing than its former self. Nowadays, I find myself increasingly more apt to skip this one each trip... and, honestly, not being that devastated about it. To remove this attraction from the Magic Kingdom would border on sacrilege (and I would never ever wish for that to happen), but a little facelift could do a whole lot of good!

Marry: Splash Mountain

I know, I know- this one is highly contested. Splash Mountain is often deemed outdated and overrated, and folks are quick to point out its mound of flaws that need fixing. Yet, despite all of the hiccups and bumps (and nearly constant breakdowns), Br'er Rabbit and his friends always emerge at the very top of my must-do list. In fact, I think the ride's imperfections are what make it so special. Yes, the animatronics are a little glitchy and the earworm that is "Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah" could easily drive a jaded park-goer off the deep-end, but seeing Br'er Fox and Br'er Bear get their "just desserts" puts a smile on my face any day!

Which attractions would you kill, refurb, or marry! Leave your answer in the comments, and check out what other Disney bloggers had to say!

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